Well, I definitely planned on writing more over Christmas break. Actually I don't think much of my break went as I had previously planned. Not to say though that I haven't enjoyed it immensely! I have loved the time I've been able to spend with my family, though I think I could have wasted a little less of my time doing things that have no importance and spent that time with them. I am very much not ready to go back to my real life, and I've definitely decided that I never want to grow up. It occurred to be today that in a year and two months I will be twenty! Which isn't really that old considering, but how different I always imagined I would be and feel when I got around this age and time of my life. I still want to be younger than 10!

My perspectives are so easily changed, and I'm afraid that one of my biggest weaknesses is to not be content with where I am. Before I used to look to when I would be older. My imagination made it seem so very grand, and nothing would be hard for me when I was older. Now I only look back to when I was younger and things seemed more simple.

Discontentment and ingratitude is the best recipe for unhappiness I believe, but discontentment and gratitude is the best recipe for happiness. Yes it is possible to be discontent and grateful at the same time. Being grateful for everything Heavenly Father has blessed you with and yet being discontent with what the world has to offer, and being discontent with not trying to be better I am sure is what Heavenly Father wants us to feel.

However, being discontent and looking either to the past or the future, wishing to go back or to skip ahead, to be constantly thinking "I can't wait until this happens" or "I'll be happy when.." is ingratitude probably in one of it's worst forms. I fall into this oh so easily. Especially with school. It's rather amusing to follow my thought patterns. Just today I caught myself thinking, "I can't wait till school is over in April and I'll have some free time! But then in May it'll be kidding season for the goats, but hopefully that won't be too bad and I'll able to find some free time. Then it'll be pageant, and then I will be so tierd and won't have hardly any free time and I will want that to be over. I might have some time in July, but I suppose I should be thinking of trying to find a job, and somehow or other July is never not busy for me. Oh but then it will be August and school will start again!" Oh fickle little me!

I think "Seizing the Day" will be on my New Year's resolutions list, along with not waiting to be happy when I have free time but choosing to be happy no matter what I'm doing and how tierd I'm feeling. Just these two could keep me busy all year!

Well, thanks for letting me ramble. It's good for me to clear my head every once and awhile, though I feal very sorry for people who are so kind to find time to read this. Since it is mostly things that just pop into my head it probably isn't really worth reading, but thank you anyway, it really does help me. I hope Christmas has been everything everyone hoped it would be and that this coming year will be what everyone hopes it will be and more.

JOY JOY JOY

I found a tiny bit of time to write to today! And that's because I took my math final and I am all done with that class for better or worse! YAY!!!!!!!!! I really feel like leaping for joy!!! I don't think my grade is the greatest in that class, but at least it's done!!!

Now I only have a biography of Marie Antoinette to write in French (extra credit to bump up my grade) and the french final tomorrow morning. But at least that one isn't at 7 A.M. like my math one this morning!!!

Thank goodness for priesthood blessings and prayer. I had a complete panic attack last night trying to study for this morning, and my parents were wonderful to help and calm me down. (What my poor parents have to put up with!) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Mom and Dad!

I also have so much gratitude to my Savior and Heavenly Father.

I don't know how they could still possibly help and love me with how I am. But yet they do!

Kierra is getting braces today! She was not exactly looking forward to it ;D Two of her favorite things to eat are popcorn and hard tostadas.

It's scary to think that could be me in a little while! Kierra is a good sport though. I appreciate her so immensely!!! The other day I came home and my room, which had been a complete disaster that morning when I left (I will refrain from describing the horrible seen from fear of giving you nightmares, and also embarrassing myself) to a completely clothes free floor (which was also vacuumed) and a wonderfully made bed etc. Kierra did it almost all by herself, with a little help from my sweet "twin" Emma. They have to deal with me coming home ornery all the time, and they decided to help me. I think that is true love for a big sister!

Well, I guess I better go start that french paper, and french studying. Oh and by the way, any one have any ideas on what I should major in? So far I'm struggling between English, Home and Family Studies, Dance(with an emphasis on Ballet), Animal Vet tech, Musical Theater.... And I think that's it so far. Could the list get any bigger? Oh yeah, and there is World Dance, but I'm almost positive that if I don't major in it I will for sure minor in it. Oh decisions decisions. I really don't like them! Oh well! ;D

Now I really should go start that paper! Happy finals week everyone! And good luck, or as the french have it "Bon courage!"

Christmas and FINALS!

It has really been a long time since I wrote on this thing! :D
Our Christmas show went terrific! If this does happen to be my last year I couldn't have asked for better finishing Christmas performance! Everyone did an amazing job! I love everyone at the studio! And it's been really weird not to see them for the past week! How will I ever get to January? ;D
Finals week is really stressing me, and my mom will testify that I have been taking lots of deep breaths lately. I can hardly wait for Christmas break! The small time without stress is much needed!!! Hopefully I'll have more time to write more meaningful things over the break as well, and if I can figure out my camera post some pictures!!! Until then, Happy Finals Week, and Merry Christmas!