Well, I definitely planned on writing more over Christmas break. Actually I don't think much of my break went as I had previously planned. Not to say though that I haven't enjoyed it immensely! I have loved the time I've been able to spend with my family, though I think I could have wasted a little less of my time doing things that have no importance and spent that time with them. I am very much not ready to go back to my real life, and I've definitely decided that I never want to grow up. It occurred to be today that in a year and two months I will be twenty! Which isn't really that old considering, but how different I always imagined I would be and feel when I got around this age and time of my life. I still want to be younger than 10!

My perspectives are so easily changed, and I'm afraid that one of my biggest weaknesses is to not be content with where I am. Before I used to look to when I would be older. My imagination made it seem so very grand, and nothing would be hard for me when I was older. Now I only look back to when I was younger and things seemed more simple.

Discontentment and ingratitude is the best recipe for unhappiness I believe, but discontentment and gratitude is the best recipe for happiness. Yes it is possible to be discontent and grateful at the same time. Being grateful for everything Heavenly Father has blessed you with and yet being discontent with what the world has to offer, and being discontent with not trying to be better I am sure is what Heavenly Father wants us to feel.

However, being discontent and looking either to the past or the future, wishing to go back or to skip ahead, to be constantly thinking "I can't wait until this happens" or "I'll be happy when.." is ingratitude probably in one of it's worst forms. I fall into this oh so easily. Especially with school. It's rather amusing to follow my thought patterns. Just today I caught myself thinking, "I can't wait till school is over in April and I'll have some free time! But then in May it'll be kidding season for the goats, but hopefully that won't be too bad and I'll able to find some free time. Then it'll be pageant, and then I will be so tierd and won't have hardly any free time and I will want that to be over. I might have some time in July, but I suppose I should be thinking of trying to find a job, and somehow or other July is never not busy for me. Oh but then it will be August and school will start again!" Oh fickle little me!

I think "Seizing the Day" will be on my New Year's resolutions list, along with not waiting to be happy when I have free time but choosing to be happy no matter what I'm doing and how tierd I'm feeling. Just these two could keep me busy all year!

Well, thanks for letting me ramble. It's good for me to clear my head every once and awhile, though I feal very sorry for people who are so kind to find time to read this. Since it is mostly things that just pop into my head it probably isn't really worth reading, but thank you anyway, it really does help me. I hope Christmas has been everything everyone hoped it would be and that this coming year will be what everyone hopes it will be and more.